Case studies
Diverse circumstances, practical help
No two people experience divorce in the same way. If you are wondering whether I am the right person for you, please read the case studies below which set out just a few of the circumstances in which I’ve been able to help my clients.
Financial agreement without solicitors or court
P and J approached me together, having reached the conclusion that they were going to divorce. I guided them through the divorce process and the options for applying online so that they were able to take that step themselves, just calling on me for one or two quick questions as they went through the stages of divorce. We looked at their financial disclosure together and I advised them on what a judge would most likely consider a fair outcome, and, over the course of 2 meetings at my kitchen table, they were able to reach an agreement. Some of the conversations were difficult, but I helped them manage their emotions and minimise escalation. Once the agreement was reached, I drew up the necessary documentation for the drafting of their consent order, allowing them to submit their agreement to court for approval in the form of a legally binding document, without either of them ever having to speak to a solicitor.
Schedule 1 advice / helping unmarried parents or cohabitees
F asked me to help in his separation from his partner and the mother of his children. His partner used a divorce consultant in London with whom I regularly work. She and I discussed what we felt would be a fair outcome based both on the law around unmarried parents and on the parties’ specific circumstances and helped our clients reach an agreement that felt workable for them both, keeping their co-parenting relationship unscathed.
Practical help in approaching divorce
D is 68. She got in touch when her husband of 35 years left her, having rekindled a relationship with a former girlfriend. We worked together to rebuild her confidence and overcome the trauma of what had happened. When she felt strong enough, I helped D move forward in practical terms by completing and submitting her divorce application with her. We looked at her financial situation and I advised her what the likely outcome would be if she were to go to court which gave her the confidence to open financial discussions with her husband.
Protecting the children’s wellbeing during divorce
D came to see me on his own initially to discuss a very difficult situation where he and his wife had had a serious altercation in front of their children and the police had been called. I advised him about how to manage the police and social services and how to calm the situation at home, and eventually his wife started to join our meetings. D and L came to see me together a number of times to discuss their finances and child arrangements. For the children, I talked them through how to speak to their children about the divorce and what had happened and drew on my experience to help them understand how to minimise trauma and upset. We created and practised a script so that they both felt confident about delivering the news together and minimising hostility in future.
Financial agreements without court
R and S contacted me when they were unable to reach a financial agreement. They had already spent a huge amount of money on legal fees but both felt they had reached their bottom line and would not compromise further. We spent several hours sitting at my kitchen table talking everything through in a calm and reasonable way and were able to meet in the middle. They left feeling relieved that they had put an end to difficult financial conversations and had an agreement that they could both consider fair.
Help with enforcement and finding solutions
H had been through two divorces and was feeling disillusioned with the legal system when she came to me for some advice about enforcing her court order. Her former husband had been difficult about making annual payments towards school fees for their daughter and she feared this would continue right through her education. We worked together to draft letters to him and his solicitor with the effect that he agreed to pay a capitalised lump sum towards school fees, meaning all financial communication between the parties could cease and they could focus on working together constructively as co-parents.
Support in court
B approached me in the run up to a final hearing on child arrangements. She had already attended two hearings with a barrister and decided she could no longer afford that level of representation. Together we prepared all the documents for court and discussed what she should expect on the day. I helped her narrow down the issues so that she had a clear sense of which outcomes were most important to her. On the day we travelled to court together and I helped make the day as comfortable and straightforward as possible. Before the hearing started, she and I discussed a number of points with her husband’s barrister and I was able to advise her on the spot about the stance she should take. We went into the court hearing together and, although in my role I am only able to give moral support and guidance, and not speak on her behalf, with me there she felt confident to speak directly to the judge and answer his questions. She was very happy with the outcome of the hearing, particularly as she had spent ten times less than her husband had.
Better communication with former partners or spouses
N had divorced his wife several years previously but their relationship was extremely acrimonious and she was preventing him from seeing the children. I looked at their correspondence to date to gauge the best way of appealing to her and coached him on how to communicate with his ex-wife in a way that focused on the children and on being kind and reasonable. We drafted some emails together until he was confident that their communication was on a better footing. As a result, their relationship improved enormously and he now sees his children on a regular basis.
Support in mediation
A mediator I work with regularly suggested that P was struggling emotionally with the mediation process and was finding the financial disclosure element challenging due to her ADHD. We discovered the best way for her to complete her financial disclosure was for her to sit side by side with me until it was complete. We then strategised about her desired outcome and how best to achieve that in mediation. We attended 3 mediation sessions together and I was able to give her moral support and notice when she needed to take a break. When, at one point, the parties reached an impasse, I was able to put her in touch with the right solicitor for her circumstances and attend the first meeting with her.
Recommendations and introductions to other legal professionals
T had applied to court to resolve her finances when we first met. We put together her financial statement (Form E), questionnaire and replies to questionnaire and prepared for her hearings, including drafting her statements, and I helped her decide which pension expert to use. When she and her husband were unable to settle and it became clear they were moving towards a final hearing, I introduced her to a direct access barrister who was well suited to her case, and attended the first meeting with her.
How I work
I’m based in Thames Ditton, Surrey and offer in-person consultations where possible, in a calm, private home setting. Many people find this more comfortable than a formal office, especially during a difficult period. If meeting in person isn’t practical, working with clients remotely is just as effective.
In our first meeting we will talk through your situation, work out what support you’re likely to need, and together we will make a plan for you
Frequently asked questions
How do you conduct meetings?
Very informally from my kitchen table in my home in Thames Ditton, Surrey. Or, if that is logistically challenging, a phone call or virtual meeting can work equally well.
How do you charge?
I charge an hourly rate of £215+VAT for work with individuals and £230+VAT for couples. There are no hidden extras and I only charge for the exact time taken. For example, if we have a meeting that lasts 57 minutes, I will charge £204 plus VAT. I do not limit our meetings to an hour, nor do they have to take up a full hour.
What will I get from you that I won't get from a legal professional in a law firm?
My charging policy is different to solicitors who charge in 6 minute units. I charge very conservatively, and only for work done, not a voicemail or telephone call setting up a meeting.
However, if you do need to instruct a solicitor further down the line, I can give you the tools to keep your legal fees to a minimum.
I am a qualified solicitor and, although I am no longer practising, still have the experience, expertise and connections to advise you and help you through the process. Most of my clients never need to instruct a solicitor.
It is crucial to be able to talk about what you are going through but doing this with your solicitor can become very expensive. While it can feel important to get your side of the story across, your solicitor needs to know very little about the details of your marriage breakdown. I can give you emotional support and an outlet for your emotions at a far less aggressive rate.
What if I am not local to you?
I am happy to conduct meetings virtually or over the phone and have worked with many clients who I have never met face to face for geographical or logistical reasons. After the first meeting or phone conversation, I find clients communicate with me in the way that suits them best, whether that is phone, email, WhatsApp or text. I will always respond swiftly to any communication. I am happy to conduct meetings over the phone or via Zoom. After the first meeting or phone conversation I find clients communicate with me in the way that suits them best, whether that is phone, email, WhatsApp or text. I will always respond swiftly to any communication.
Can I use you instead of a solicitor?
Yes, absolutely, and most of my clients do exactly that, however, it depends on the complexity of the circumstances of your case. I have had several clients who have gone through the entire process with me in the background helping to advise at each stage, finesse communications, complete forms and draft statements. The ‘other side’ was unaware of my involvement. With others, I have communicated directly with the other party or their solicitor.
If your case goes to court I am unable to represent you or speak on your behalf, but I can help you feel prepared and confident for your hearing and can even attend court with you to offer moral support and advise you in negotiations.
I often work with both parties together, working through the disclosure and negotiation stages around my kitchen table. I’m not a mediator, but have had a high success rate with this approach. If you reach an agreement with your husband or wife, I can help draw up all the paperwork documents before passing you on to a colleague of mine who will draft your consent order (which will become your legally binding document).
Thinking about separation?
Start with clarity.
Divorce doesn’t need to go hand in hand with conflict or court. I can give informed, practical guidance to help you keep hostility and costs to a minimum.